1. What were your motives for helping this person?
I remembered I worked with an older woman (50+) at Kmart. She did not drive, she took public transportation to and from work. One day (approximately 2014-2015), she told me she had studied at Shawnee State University and was close to completing her Bachelor’s degree. In 2016, our Kmart had closed and I had graduated from Shawnee State University. I remember questioning what happened to her. . . did she find other employment, etc. Once I began my career at Shawnee State, I looked up her academic information to find she only needed one class for a Bachelor’s degree. I ensured this was correct and went on a search to find her to let her know. I was able to find her on Facebook. She did not have the financial means to pay for this last course. I was frustrated that her college journey started in 1985, and I was determined that 2018 would be the year it ended. I was able to get connected to a resource that was very knowledgeable of a completion grant for people in this type of situation. I helped her with reapplying for admission, her FAFSA, the grant, and eventually enrolling in the last course needed. This client (now friend) graduated in 2018 with a Bachelor’s degree after a 30+ year college journey. She was unemployed and struggling. Now, she is employed by a well-known hospital.
With all that being said, I believe my motives revolved around my empathy. I knew she was barely managing her basic needs (physiological and safety) according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I remembered how I also had been in a similar position on numerous occasions in my life. My education truly has changed my life. My motive was to help her complete her education in hopes to obtain a job with a livable wage. I think it could be explained as extrinsic motivation because I believed doing something (finishing degree) for the external rewards you get from it (better employment). I strived to ensure in the future she not only met her basic needs, but psychological needs too.
2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How?
I benefited by learning the steps required for situations like this. I became more aware of who and what are good resources for these types of circumstances. I have been able to continue helping other individuals with similar situations in an improved timely manner. I also benefited by reminding myself of my struggles, where I came from, to be wise, grateful, and humble. It is the reason I chose the career that I did. I was reminded to not be ashamed of my story because it has the power to inspire others. You do not inspire by being perfect, but by how you deal with your imperfections.
3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?
My role was taking initiation to see where this student was in their college journey, what needed to be completed in order to finish a degree, and ensuring this information was correct before offering to assist her with this process. Once, I researched and confirmed the information was correct and what could be done, I had to find her, then I had to coach her through this process. Once it was all completed and she was in the final course, I played more of the cheerleader role by sending positive messages throughout the semester and offering to connect to academic resources if needed. I believe I helped this person by allowing them to obtain something that they had spent a lot of time and money on that could be of extreme benefit. I provided them with an opportunity that they were not even aware existed. Honestly, I think the only thing that I would have done differently was ask more questions regarding her basic needs at that time. I would have done my best to connect her to community resources (Community Action, etc.) to help if needed.
4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react?
There was nothing this person did, said, or believed that I did not agree with. It took us about 2 months to get through this process; but ultimately, we had the same goal in mind. She needed the opportunity and boost, but she had the motivation.
5. Did you learn anything from this relationship?
I learned to advocate and use my voice to make an impact for those who are vulnerable. I learned that everyone deserves someone who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best they can possibly be.