- I
was helping her to re-enter the workforce and change careers after taking medical
leave. I wanted to help her find something right away
- I
learned how to draw boundaries. I was too invested in wanting to find a job quickly,
and it was clear that she was not ready. I had to learn to take a step back.
- I
provided her with the reassurance that both re-entering the workforce and changing
careers were possible. I would be a better listener if I could do something
differently. I was so fixated on what I thought was the best course of action
for her versus listening to what she wanted to do and was willing to do.
- She explained to me that she could no longer have a career because her position she had worked so hard to secure was not amenable to her physical and mental health. I tried to convince her that a job was not her career. I wanted her to see that a career unfolds over years and decades, and a job is just one part of someone’s career. At first, I was thinking, she is not listening to me, how am I going to be able to help her? I had to check my beliefs about her, and I realize that I was not listening; perhaps, she was not ready to be supported, and my stubbornness indicated that I was not prepared to help her either.
- I apologized to her before ending the meeting. I explained that I wanted to work with her and that I should not have overstepped and moved at her pace. I learned not to “should” myself or others and let the helping relationship unfold on its own.
Yayy Justin!
What great and honest insight about yourself and course of action. Isn't it wonderful to take a step back sometimes and analyze our actions to see how we can improve? I am so happy that you had the chance to pivot during this helping relationship and create a corrective course of action. I have been in similar situations in the past and it takes a great deal of humility to realize meeting the client or student where they are at will ultimately be the best course of action in the long run. Well done!