Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

by Twyla Rownak -
Number of replies: 1

1. What were your motives for helping this person? My motives for helping were to enable the person to connect authentically with others and make meaning of her past so she would feel more relaxed in the world.

2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How? 'm not really sure - it felt a little rewarding when they seemed to do better.

3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently? My role was advisor/therapist. I think I helped them experience a new type of relationship, to experience what it was like not to have to have all the answers, to spend time with someone who wasn't afraid of their emotional reactions. While I did not love the outcome, I do not believe there was anything I should have done differently.

4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react? Yes, I was curious about why they believed they could tell what everyone was thinking and how it helped them to pre-read other's motives and intentions. I asked them to tell me more about it.

5. Did you learn anything from this relationship? That I can only help people as far as they can trust me, they have very good reasons for not trusting people, and even if I do everything to demonstrated availability, consistency, warmth, and trustworthiness, sometimes people are not ready or are not a good fit with me.

In reply to Twyla Rownak

Re: Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

by Charise Wilson -

Hi Twyla,

Thanks for sharing this exchange in this post. It sounds like your client is dealing with multiple layers of hurt. Your efforts to become her safe place were noted but as you stated only she can decide whether or not she is ready to open up and breakdown those walls to allow you in. I am sure you have experienced this many times and there are some individuals that are able to move more quickly through the process while others take more time. Your patience, empathy, and understanding were definitely there. Chapter 1 covered similar situations but under the career support umbrella. Do you think there are other creative ways that you might try in the future to open those lines sooner? One of my students uses visualization boards to help spur on conversations, what are your thoughts? Just curious.