Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Gaining Insight into Yourself as a Helper

Gaining Insight into Yourself as a Helper

by Eric Burton -
Number of replies: 1

Gaining Insight into Yourself as a Helper

By Eric D. Burton - Thursday, Sep 3, 2020, 8:23 PM

 

A little over a year ago, I had the privilege of providing assistance to a young Military Spouse who came to me for help with establishing a Federal Resume in order to apply for a position on a Military Installation.

 

1. What were your motives for helping this person?

As with all clients my number one priority is to provide quality customer service.  With this particular client, she came to my office and she was accompanied by a female Military member which I assumed was a friend initially.  I went through my regular process of assessing personal skills, experience and particular duties to see what kind of abilities the client may have in order to give recommendations on job availability, and recommended resources such as educational and developmental training that may help or improve overall job interviews and referrals for employment.  As a retired U.S. veteran of 25 years, I know from first hand experiences of what Military Spouses go through when they accompany their Military Member Spouse in overseas areas.  Therefore, I go out of my way to advise, counsel and help in any way possible. 

  

2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way?  How?

With this particular client I definitely benefited from the relationship in that I learned a lot about myself and was able to improve on future client to customer relationships.  Basically, I learned that I had to let go of my own personal beliefs and see every client as an opportunity to share knowledge and hopefully teaching and training a client with the ultimate goal of them gaining a completive edge needed for employment opportunities.


3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?

Looking back, initially, I feel like this particular client did not get the ultimate customer services package in the beginning due to my lack of understanding and due to my assumption which was true about her relationship with the female Military Member that came in with her.  However, after learning that the client was the spouse of the female Military Member, I was very honest with both and expressed that I was not used to having to counsel a same sex couple.  I believed I helped this client in understanding that there are people who still are not accustomed to the different types of couple relationships and the awkwardness it might bring to some.


4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react?

Now looking back, I can clearly see that I made it painfully obvious by my reaction when she told me that the female Military Member was her spouse.  It was very awkward for me and for the couple. 

 

5. Did you learn anything from this relationship?

Although I still maintain my belief in the traditional marriage (Man/Woman) however as counselors, mentors and career coaches I learned that providing quality services is the utmost priority as a helper regardless of personal beliefs.    


In reply to Eric Burton

Re: Gaining Insight into Yourself as a Helper

by Charise Wilson -

Hello Eric,

Thank you for your honesty and the level of openness you expressed in your post. I think other readers may benefit from your experience as well. We are certainly finding ourselves in ever-changing and more diverse situations as career practitioners today. 

I am happy to see that you gave your client the best support possible as you would any of your other Military Spouse clients and that you were comfortable enough to express and share your feelings with them as well in a non-judgmental and respectful way. It might have not come off as genuine if they saw your initial surprised reaction and then if it wasn't addressed. Kudos to you for being honest and willing to share with them. There were many lessons learned here and it sounds like you will be even more prepared for unique situations in the future!