Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

by Catric W.M -
Number of replies: 1

The person I was helping was a 14 year old client who was trying to decide on an education and plan to help her determine what courses to focus on in high school. 

1. What were your motives for helping this person?

My motives for helping her were purely from unconditional positive regard and respect for her goals. She is one of my counseling clients and we have developed a great rapport.

2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How?

The benefit I draw from the relationship is satisfaction and gladness as she develops, grows, and reaches milestones and her goals. It confirms that my helping skills are effective.

3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?

My role within the helping relationship was as a guide and support. I suggested we work on a vision board. First we discussed her interests, strengths, and abilities. She came up with a a preliminary plan. First we looked up Howard University and she selected pictures that drew her eye and I printed them. Then we spent the next 2-3 sessions talking as we cut out words and pictures from magazines that fit within her vision. One thing that I would do differently is focus on compartmentalizing a bit more as time went on it seemed as if we shifted into a mentor-mentee role though I would reflect her questions back so she could ponder them. 

4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react?

There were times when she would regress and behave such as a typical teenage girl seeking approval, love, and friendships. I would meet her with understanding and guide her towards interventions that would help her determine what are positive associations and what a true friend looks like.

5. Did you learn anything from this relationship?

Although I have been adamant that I prefer not to work with children, teenage girls are one of the populations that I am suited to help. I learned that I am able to develop a great therapeutic bond with teenagers. 

In reply to Catric W.M

Re: Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

by Charise Wilson -

Hello Catric,

Thanks for sharing your interesting approach with us. I think this was well-suited based on the age of your client. She certainly seemed to enjoy the activity and to open up about her goals. 

I noticed that you mentioned that she tended to regress a bit from time to time during your meetings. This reminded me of a few occasions when I worked with individuals that held me in high esteem. Sometimes when we are the ones that the clients look up to they may begin to relate or state things that they THINK we want to hear. This is very common but something we have to be mindful of in career development coaching. We want to help all of our clients and also to assure them that we are there to support and listen to THEIR goals. It's hard because we can see the potential but in most cases, they need time in order to actually get there. 

I am probably preaching to the choir right now, because I know you are aware of this, but wanted you to know that this happens in career advising as well. I once had a student tell me she could work full time, no problem, but the only PROBLEM was that she had four kids and "iffy" daycare. She thought I wanted her to work full time and so that's what she agreed to. She never admitted this and I never brought it up. I just simply asked if she was also open to part-time roles too. She excitedly replied, "Oh, yes that would be great too!" The end result was I just looked for roles like this and stayed away from FT stuff!

Thank you for your insight. You are adding a great dimension and different perspective to this class!

Best,

Charise