Let me inform you of the situation, I had a friend who was diagnosed with a terminal illness. She had been working all her life, but the medical bills started to come, and she became depressed. Being her friend, I offered to help. My motive was to ease the stress that she was going through. Yes, I did benefit from this relationship it made our friendship closer than ever. My role in the helping relationship was to comfort her and be by her side if she ever needed anything. I helped this person spiritually, mentally by always being positive. Looking back, I think there is nothing I would have done differently. Yes, my friend actually told me that she will no longer be here to see all her grandchildren. My reaction of course was to speak something positive. Yes, I did learn something from this experience. Yes, I did learn a lot from this relationship. Life is short so make the best of it while you are living to love one another.
Re: Gaining insight into my self as a helper- Gladys Holder
Her need for stress relief was pure. but how and in what way did that motivate you? what fire was lit from her distress?
Re: Gaining insight into my self as a helper- Gladys Holder
Hello Ms. Gladys,
Thank you for sharing. The situation you shared is a really difficult one. Your close friend was diagnosed with a terminal illness with no hope of survival. As her friend it sounds like you really understood her pain and the stress she was dealing with. You noticed that she became depressed which was different from her usual personality. You knew that the best support or way to help her was to be there with her. When people are depressed they shy away from others and spend a lot of time alone. It is such a blessing that you were there to pray with her and speak positive things (life) to her. This was definitely one of those situations where the helper in the end was helped. You shared that you learned an important lesson to make the best of life and show love to one another. This is timely advice as we continue to navigate through this pandemic. I'm wondering if it was difficult to stay positive as she began to deteriorate and if she ever spoke aloud, "Why me?"
~Catric
Re: Gaining insight into my self as a helper- Gladys Holder
Hello Gladys,
First of all, I am sorry to hear that you have a good friend that is experiencing a terminal illness. That is a heavy weight to carry for both of you. The steps that you took to be supportive and encouraging were no doubt very helpful to your dear friend.
This was a good example of a helping relationship because you were simply there for her, which is what we discussed last week. Sometimes it's not what we say, how we say it, or any of those things - just simply being with that person in the moment and letting them express their feelings.
You mentioned you wouldn't do anything different which is good, but I was wondering if you had connected her to any resources for support that might be helpful too? Just a thought. Either way, she was consoled. Have you had similar experiences that pertain to your work? I look forward to hearing about those in the near future.
Thank you,
Charise