Before the Covid quarantine, when we were both looking for jobs, I sent my son’s girlfriend a job posting I thought she would be interested in. My intent was to encourage her find a way to stay in the medical field, her passion, even though her license is lapsed. I was also trying to be a friend to her, seeing her strengths and offering support.
Probably beneath these motives was a desire to steer her away from the things she was applying for, gas stations and bars, which I felt would cause my son stress.
Despite my mixed motives, I would still do the same. She seemed encouraged. In the end, she found a job in the animal care field. Even though that was not my suggestion, I was very happy about it because it was also a good fit with her character strengths and skills. This experience is an example of how gentle encouragement can help people move toward solving their problems themselves.