Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

by Clark Hogan -
Number of replies: 1

A few months ago, a fellow teacher in my school asked if I could help an acquaintance of his from his role as a supervisor at Job Corps.  This young man's mother passed away several years ago, and he had some life insurance money that he wanted to put to use toward a real estate investment. ( I am both a teacher and Real Estate Agent).  He needed some advice and direction and some next steps toward his long term goal of having passive income and asset growth.

1.  My motives for helping this young man (early 20's) were to just offer sound advice to help him analyze his risk tolerance and understand his motives for real estate investing.  I was also hoping that if he chose to move forward in his plan that he would use me as his agent.

2.  I met with him for dinner to understand his background, goals and offer some advice and insight into what he was wanting to do.  He was very pleasant and mature for his years and it was refreshing to see such a level head on a young person compared to my usual encounters with high school students.  It was gratifying to me to offer advice and options to him. 

3.  My role seems very similar to the career counseling role described in chapter 1 of the student manual, with the exception that it was around a different topic.  Reflecting on the interraction, I can see very similar steps in the meetings we had with what a career counselor has.  To close the story, this young man lived with his grandmother in her condo and paid her rent.  She was on a fixed income and was also renting to her son (this young man's uncle).  We explored the possibility of him buying the condo from his grandmother for cash, freeing up her finances while allowing him a place to stay that is his own and he can collect rent from his uncle and trade rent from his grandmother in exchange for the remaining amount he owed her for the purchase.  Looking back, I think the circumstances for all of them were well served and they seemed to agree that it was a win/win solution for them. I don't think I would have done anything different.

4.  The only differences that were necessarily applicable is my perception that he should have been more risk tolerant to purchase a property with greater potential.  He was very conservative and didn't want to spend all of his savings and didn't want to get into financing his purchase even though he was very well qualified for much more.  Through our "Intake Interview" over dinner, I learned where he stood on the risk scale and provided advice and options that were in line with his views rather than what I would do.  

5.  While meeting at his grandmother's home, and offering the advice and details of how they might go about transferring the property efficiently, his grandmother kept asking me "Why are you doing this? Why did you drive an hour each way if you won't get paid for this? What is in it for you?" Since they were going to just have a family transaction, they didn't need a real estate agent and it would be a disservice to charge them for the transaction.  "Nothing, except perhaps in the future if he decides to purchase other properties, he will consider me to help him."  Although I typically provide a service that deserves to be rewarded financially, it was fun to just let her know I was a nice guy trying to help.

In reply to Clark Hogan

Re: Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

by Charise Wilson -

Hello Clark,

Thank you for sharing your insight and this detailed experience with us. You certainly did showcase many of the helping-related skills noted in Chapter 1 of this course that career development professionals are encouraged to use. The young man that you helped seemed to appreciate the support, but as you can see not everyone (Grandma) was comfortable receiving assistance through the helping relationship. This is a significant point to consider and I am glad it came up. This shows us that different personalities react in different ways to receiving mentoring, guidance, and support. Some individuals will need information explained to build trust while others will simply accept the needed assistance. 

Our goal in the helping relationship is to meet the client and/or student where they are and provide them with services based on what they actually want to achieve. You did this for the young man because you could have tried to persuade him to spend more or to make another decision but instead, you discerned what he wanted to achieve and helped him from there. A nice example of being non-judgemental throughout the process. He is not quite ready for a bigger investment and you recognized this. Well done!

Charise