My freshman year of college my roommate spiraled out of control almost immediately. She became involved with alcohol, seeing multiple guys, and self-harm. I had to make the decision of filing a BIP (behavioral intervention plan) report on her through my resident advisor in order to get her professional help.
1. What were your motives for helping this person?
My main selfless motive was to get professional help for my roommate. Selfishly my motive was to get control over the chaos that was being brought into our shared dorm room.
2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How?
Yes and no. Yes, our dorm room became less chaotic. No, because our relationship as friends took a hit.
3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?
My role was being her voice for needing help. I hope that this ultimately saved her life from a very quick downward spiral. Looking back, I wish I would have discussed with her before filing the BIP report so that she could see that my motivations were pure, and not to get her in trouble of any sort.
4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react?
In the beginning I did not agree with anything she did or said regarding her out of control lifestyle. I tried to react with patience and understanding, but eventually had to report her for personal endangerment in which the University required her to seek weekly counseling.
5. Did you learn anything from this relationship?
I learned a lot from this situation and relationship. I feel that I made the right decision to report her, but wish I would have discussed it with her beforehand so that she could understand my reasoning instead of feeling blindsided.