My setting is K-12 and my motives for helping the student was to try to redirect her to focus on a possible career path to keep out of the current trouble she has been imposing upon herself. My motives were selfless because I did not benefit from this guidance session. My role was to offer encourage and build trust with the middle schooler. Looking back at this, if I had been a career specialist, I would have developed with her a career plan detailing the classes she'd need to concentrate on in high school. I do not believed the student attain any of the information or guidance because she has been continuing to display behavior issues. I have been continuing to redirect her that her dreams are attainable for her future. But, I have learned, I can't make her want it. It has to be her choice and her goal.
It is tough to build a meaningful mentorship with a tween - raging hormones and major personality development all. You are absolutely right that you can't want it or make it happen more than she wants it. I have been trying to tap into my son's inner motivations to help him grow into the adult he wants to be. The progress is REALLY SLOW. Even baby steps seem like miles. But, keeping the energy positive and focusing on the positive behaviors will ultimately reap rewards.
This is great, Renee. Working with K-12 is tough and I truly commend you for the work you do in this arena. I think your approach was good and by continuing to show her that you care and are a resource/support system for her, she will slowly come around. Also, don't sell yourself short. I believe she received the information and guidance offered even though she didn't act on it right away. I know in my experience, I've been offered guidance that I implied at a later date. The provider of the guidance didn't think I was listening but I stored the knowledge away until I was truly ready to act on it.
Hi Renee,
Yes, many of us have experienced this in our helping relationships with others. We sometimes want it more than they do. However, maybe a goal of helping her to volunteer or intern in her dream field or to discuss her goals with a mentor that is in the field might be helpful in keeping her focused and on course. It could even be a reward for her staying out of trouble? Again, she's got to be the one to decide if she is willing to put in the effort!
Thank you,
Charise
Yes, many of us have experienced this in our helping relationships with others. We sometimes want it more than they do. However, maybe a goal of helping her to volunteer or intern in her dream field or to discuss her goals with a mentor that is in the field might be helpful in keeping her focused and on course. It could even be a reward for her staying out of trouble? Again, she's got to be the one to decide if she is willing to put in the effort!
Thank you,
Charise