Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Week 2 Discussion

Week 2 Discussion

by Crystal Cory -
Number of replies: 3

1. What were your motives for helping this person?

The story that comes to mind is of a math student that came to me to help her determine what she wanted to do with her degree. She liked math, and had recently realized that you could do tons of things with a math degree and felt overwhelmed. I was motivated to help her because a) it is literally my job and b) because I felt like she was "zooming out" too much on the situation which caused her to feel paralyzed and like she didn't know where to start. 

2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How?

Though this relationship I am able to learn along with her about different fields, industries, and nuances that I might not have known before. I know some general things about subjects like data science, but by her reporting back to me what she learns I am more prepared to help others. In addition, I get satisfaction when I can help someone channel their nervous energy into action steps so that they can still move forward. 

3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?

In this helping relationship, I viewed myself as a guide. I helped to suggest different ways for her to work through her perceived problems so that she no longer felt stuck or overwhelmed. I then also helped to hold her accountable and give feedback at every stage of the process. Looking back, I think I could have let her completely decide next steps instead of suggesting options. When a student presents me with a problem/concern I tend to say something like, "Well we could do a, b, or c to tackle that." instead of letting them come up with a plan. 

4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react?

Nothing really comes to mind. This isn't so much a "didn't agree with" thing, but after we had worked through a couple different topics she said she was still unclear on some things related to networking and that sort of threw me off because we had gone over it previously. In the moment I said that we could schedule another appointment to talk through any lasting questions that she had. 

5. Did you learn anything from this relationship?

From this relationship I truly learned the meaning of the old SA adage that "you can't want it more than they do." With a lot of career exploration students they don't really feel engaged in the process. However this student wanted to complete activities and make progress and talk through every step. It was a refreshing change of pace. 
In reply to Crystal Cory

Re: Week 2 Discussion

by Hannah Flory -
Crystal,

Thank you so much for sharing this story! I am glad that your student was able to find more options and learn about not only her interests but the possibilities that she could pursue. After reflecting on your answer to question 3, I believe that I also find myself offering suggestions for next steps instead of letting them organically come up with a plan when assisting career exploration students. Your post has helped me realize that maybe I need to take a backseat sometimes and allow the students to come up with their own plan first before making any suggestions. I would also agree with the adage of "you can't want it more than they do." We really have to guide them to the tools and resources and then allow them to have the autonomy and responsibility of doing the work.

Great insight, Crystal!

--Hannah
In reply to Crystal Cory

Re: Week 2 Discussion

by Tisha Grande -
Crystal,
I thought it was a great way to bookend your post with the reasoning of "it is literally my job" and ending with "you can't want it more than they do". I think sometimes working in a field where we are there to help and support others in finding their next chapter, we forget it is our job because we do become so invested. You're right in sharing how some students don't seem engaged in the process but then it's those who really participate that remind us of why we are in this field!
In reply to Crystal Cory

Re: Week 2 Discussion

by Charise Wilson -
Hi Crystal,

I think I already alluded to my reply with you in class, but I agree with he "you can't want it more than they do" - - it's sometimes so hard to see their potential before they do. However, I am a believer that in time and when they are ready they will remember the words of wisdom we shared and who knows, maybe they'll come back for services! It's happened in the past!

Best,
Charise