Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Helping

Helping

by Vicki Terrill -
Number of replies: 2

1. She needed to talk through options for work after her divorce, and she is my friend.

2. I benefited because I got to watch her take on new challenges with renewed courage and self-confidence.

3. Just to listen, encourage, and point out strengths.  She had lost sight of what she could do well on her own. No.

4. She decided to take a career that has no steady income stream, and she was so afraid of not doing well. I pointed out how the concern she had voiced, and asked about how serious her uncertain income might be. Personally, deep down I questioned her decision, but supported her decision.

5. She's doing well in her job, but staying stressed. I did learn that everyone has to try things out themselves, but that it's ok to raise questions to make them think. Just not to take a stand or take it personally when they choose something different.

In reply to Vicki Terrill

Re: Helping

by Jesse Rutschman -
Hi Vicki. A late response here...

What I takeaway from your post is the challenge of balancing the role of helpful friend and unbiased helper. You say you questioned her decision, but you supported her. That can be a hard role to maintain in general, but harder if you are a friend.

I sense how the divorce maybe left her with a void of fear and self-doubt around what she could do. She was very blessed to have a friend that could be there as she tried!
In reply to Vicki Terrill

Re: Helping

by Charise Wilson -
Thanks, Vicki for your post. Your friend has to take those needed "baby steps" so to speak to regain her confidence, once she does, the skies the limit. I'm sure your support and encouragement, plus a listening ear are exactly what is needed. I agree with you, we meet people where they are at. Well done. Charise