Gaining Insight Into Yourself as a Helper

Chapter 1 discussion topic

Chapter 1 discussion topic

by Maria Palamara -
Number of replies: 3

1. What were your motives for helping this person?

Client was seeking mental health counseling for relationship concerns.  I was motivated to help primarily because it is the core of my job role as an LAC (so for pay as well as hours towards my professional license).  I was motivated to enter the profession because of a desire to help others overcome challenges to lead happier and more fulfilled lives.

2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How?

The obvious benefit was payment for services and hours towards full licensure.  However as with most of my clients I advanced my counseling skills and perspectives, learning more about relationship issues (some couples are not always meant to stay together) and what kinds of ripple effects a relationship breakup can trigger into examining other aspects of life such as housing insecurity and one's own need for a rethink of their career direction.  While this client did not initially present for career issues, it became a focus area over the course of treatment.

3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?

My role was to help the client clarify his own thoughts about his relationship and career goals, mainly as a facilitator.  I offered tools and psychoeducation to help him explore his feelings and goals for life, manage his anxiety and stress level, and make some difficult decisions to explore outside of his comfort zone, without leading him towards a specific answer in either case.

4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react?

I recognized early on that the client was in an emotionally abusive relationship, and at times he would make unhealthy choices (for himself) to keep the peace at home and hold the relationship together.  I would have him explore his feelings about the situation, and provide support to over time help him recognize that his own relationship needs also need to be clarified and tended to.

5. Did you learn anything from this relationship?

Yes - See answer to question 2.

In reply to Maria Palamara

Re: Chapter 1 discussion topic

by Stephanie Reed -
This client is an example of how we bring all of ourselves to counseling. Our lives are too complex to separate out one specific issue to address because each issue impacts all facets of our lives. Initially, clients may attend therapy for a 'relationship' or 'parenting' issue, but other issues present themselves. Clients may not even recognize the need for assistance or resources in other areas just yet. Thankfully, this is where fully trained counselors can help clients transition, when ready, to work on other issues they are facing in a supportive environment.
In reply to Maria Palamara

Re: Chapter 1 discussion topic

by Charise Wilson -
Hi Maria,
Thank you for sharing this complex situation with us. It is clear that there were several things going on at once and once we get to the level of trust that Chapter One outlined then our clients tend to really open up and share, which is where the help and referral resources come in. I hope that your client's situation improves and that (when he's ready) can explore options that can lead to happiness for everyone involved.
Best,
Charise
In reply to Charise Wilson

Re: Chapter 1 discussion topic

by Maria Palamara -

The good news is that he has left the abusive relationship and has made a career pivot to a significantly higher paying job, and has new tools in his toolbox to make sure his own needs are tended to in his new relationship.  For me, a success story!