1. What were your motives for helping this person?
I received a call from a colleague asking if I would act as a professional reference. He was a finalist for a senior leadership position at a nearby independent school and wanted both a reference and advice related to his search. I admire him professionally and personally, and, in fact, I hired into his current position over 14 years earlier.
2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How?
Over the years, I have benefited from this person--via his excellent professional performance, personal integrity and character, as well as his friendship.
3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?
My role was to listen to his career planning thoughts--why this opportunity was a good one at the right time--and to share my insights about his current career options, including at the independent school to which he was applying. I think it helped him to be able to talk freely with someone about his own thoughts--why he was considering leaving his current job, why he felt he was ready, why this opportunity might be the right one, what to do if/when he should be offered the job about his relationship with his current employer. It was helpful for him (and all of us) to share his thinking and ask for feedback. I think I provided appropriate feedback about his talents and abilities, about the timing of this search, about how he might speak with his current supervisor about what terms might be negotiated for him to stay on and be promoted. Looking back, I might have suggested he talked to one or two other close colleagues to test both our thinking a little further.
4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react?
There were a couple of items related to timing that we disagreed about. I felt he should not share too much about his extra-professional activities with his potential employer until he was offered a position (he is also an elected member of a local school board). He did include this fact in his resume, but I thought he shouldn't belabor possible/future demands during the interview process unless asked. Second, I did suggest that if he was interested in staying with his current employer under new conditions (possible change in position/salary etc.), he would likely be best served by having another offer firmly in hand before having that conversation(s).
5. Did you learn anything from this relationship?
I did learn that by asking a great number of questions early on, I learned a good deal about why my colleague was searching for a new, senior position--and that under certain circumstances he would prefer to stay on and advance with his current employer. Also, it was good to have multiple conversations over a series of days--as new information was introduced--for both us to feel more confident in our thoughts, advice, and the way to press forward. For me, too, I greatly enjoyed the process of working with him--on the eve of beginning this NCDA program. It made me feel like I, too, was moving toward my future.