1. What were your motives for helping this person?
- It was during midterms and final papers submission period at Brunel University when my friend Ashima was unable to write the final report for one of our mandatory classes. Since I met Ashima, I always felt that her research and writing skills were not solid enough to successfully perform the tasks required to pass classes. One day before submitting one of our major reports, Ashima did not know how to search for the most appropriate resources that would help her with the writing. Therefore, Ashima sought for my help, and despite the very limited time we both had, our friendship and my high sense of responsibility towards my friend were stronger than any constrains, but more importantly, we both new that my strong research skills were exactly what she needed to get her work done.
2. Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How?
- I truly benefited from that experience because I realised that I am constantly is a stand-by mode to help others to the best of my ability as it makes me happy and boosts my self-confidence and self-actualization. Also, what happened has increased the level of trust between us, and with a little help, I was able to give my friend the hope she lost to pass the class and I could see her eyes brighten again.
3. What was your role in the helping relationship? In what way do you think you helped this person? Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?
- In that helping relationship, I was the guide and mentor who showed the person how to perform a task correctly and reach the desired outcome at the end, which was passing the class in the case of my friend.
The only thing I would have done differently if I had the opportunity would be giving more control to my friend over the situation instead of identifying the problem myself and implementing the solution without involving her in every decision I had to make throughout the helping process.
4. Was there anything that this person did, said, or believed that you did not agree with? How did you react?
- I appreciated the positive vibe my friend tried to maintain by saying that she believed deep in her heart that although she was aware of her limited research skills, she knew things would go well and she would definitely find a way to finish the report and submit it on time.
I tried to keep my reaction as neutral as possible, but I made it clear to her that she should have asked for help earlier, especially that she was aware of her problem. Also, I told her that she would have had a better chance to enhance her research skills if she asked for help in another time, because my goal at that point was to help her get her work done, not teach her how to do things right in the next time.
5. Did you learn anything from this relationship?
- I learned that I should offer my help if I am aware of someone’s problem even if s/he didn’t ask for it. My sense of responsibility and willingness to help others whenever they ask for it made me feel a bit guilty that I didn’t offer to help her earlier, specially that I was aware of her limited skills in research and writing.